QR 1 with White Wolf – Love and Illusions

Dear White Wolf,

Today during my 11 hr delivery driving shift on nearly completely empty roads, I had lots of time to contemplate life’s maddening intricacies. I wondered, specifically, if people ever loved me or only their illusion of me. I grew tired of cultivating an image in the community and I now feel like I am the most honest and true to myself I have ever been. I thought that would result in feeling more loved, but I find it is the opposite. Is it the ignorant / those who cast illusions that are the most loved by people? Or am I competing for the favor of different people since I don’t drink constantly and throw parties anymore?  I have everything I need to survive… and there is a certain divinity to loneliness… but I feel like the love I have to give to other people is piling up in my heart – and creating a void there. What say you, o wise one?

Well, that’s definitely something I relate to, brother, big time. There are always those two types of friends, the ones that love you because you represent a certain ideal them, validate a part of their identity, or fulfill a particular need in their lives, and then there are those who truly know and value your essence.

The former’s love is certainly fleeting and it can really be hurtful to see how quickly they turn on you or drift away the second something changes and you’re no longer fulfilling what they need or meeting their expectations. The love of the latter, thankfully, never changes and they will always smile upon seeing you, think about you, and support you through all the changes and growth of life. These people don’t even need to have spent a lot of time with you to know and understand you, they just seem to see and know, as if they were friends from another lifetime, or perhaps they see themselves reflected in you. Life seems to give us far fewer of these true friends.

Though those who cast illusions may appear to be more universally loved, they are certainly less happy, because one, they are not enjoying the ease and freedom of being their authentic self, and two, because in their hearts they know how this appearance is fleeting and changeable. They could just as well have as many enemies as soon as they shift the script, and so they become trapped in keeping up appearances. 

I relate to the love I have to give to other people piling up. I guess that’s why I strive along my solitary path to truly hone and empower the best of my offerings to the world as an artist/communicator, well beyond the limited and compromised parameters of any professional ambitions. I want to give the very best of what I have to offer, the full and fragrant bloom of my being to the world. A flower unfolded attracts all the birds and bees, who will rush in to imbibe its essence, spreading such and regenerating life wide and far. A flower stands out amongst the backdrop of the world, like something divine, warming hearts, causing strangers to smile, reminding us all of the magic of existence. But yes, it is a lonely journey through the thorny thicket reaching for enough light to make this unfolding happen. But as I see it, it is the only way to fulfill life’s purpose and experience the fullness of joy, so I persevere. “Narrow is the road…”
Love you, brother.

There are roses in this world.
I know I am one,
and before my Life is over
all will see my crimson petals
shining in the sun.

-White Wolf